The addict isn’t the only member of the family to act completely irrational. So does the mom. Alarmed by a gut feeling that something is “just not right” the mother becomes an insanely overwrought junior detective – searching rooms, tracking cellphones, eavesdropping and spying on social media. But the truth is not easy to uncover- because the addict is a very convincing liar. (And, let’s face it, a big part of the mom wants to believe those lies.) The disease requires the addict to hide their spiraling use. And this requires lying. A lot. In fact there is a saying in the community that “if an addict’s lips are moving…they are lying.” I never liked that saying. I still don’t. But the sad fact is that once this drug has claimed your child, they are no longer your child.
Then the really irrational behavior begins. What mother would ask their sick child to leave their home? What mother would show them the door when it was beginning to snow? What mother would watch their child walk down the driveway with a sad trash bag of clothes thrown over their shoulder? And no money in their pockets? With the realization that they may never see their child again. With the realization that their baby would seek that drug wherever, and from whomever, they could? And with the very real possibility that they might die frozen and alone?
Me, that is who.
There has to be a better way. We have to find a better way.